I can save you a lot of money and frustration. I have parents tell me almost every day that they have either sold their home and moved to a new location, or they have sent the problem teen to live with another family member, only to have the teen doing the same old crap just in a new location within about two months. Now the family member is saying your teen needs to "go home" I can't take it anymore. Or parents have gone to the expense of moving and relocation with jobs and schools only to have their teen back with the same type of kids that they thought they just moved from.

First of all how fair is it to send your problem child to a family member? Do you really think they want to be the parent of a defiant teen? Being a grandma myself I can tell you that I have raised my kids I don't want to start over now, and especially with a  teen that is causing problems at school or at home. I want to be the fun grandma that the kids look forward to visiting!

Truthfully most teens that are sent to live with a family member will be "good" for a while, called the Honeymoon period. But eventually they will find the same kinds of friends that they are associating with now while living at home. Kids need to fit in, they want to feel like they are just like everyone else in their peer group. They will gravitate to kids that accept them right where they are at either in their behavior or in their schooling.The quality of your life is the direct expectation of your peer group. Think about the peers you associate with.

"It's not my child; it's those kids he hangs out with! when I hear that, I always say, "maybe that's so, but the reason he hangs out with that group is because he's similar to them. And just like you are saying, "It's those kids he hangs out with, those other kids; parents are saying the same thing about your kid, "he's the problem".

So don't sell  your house and move and don't send your teen to live with a family member hoping that they will straighten up when the peers change, because they will find the same kinds of kids in a new location.

The only way to change your teen is to find out what the underlying issues are and then work through them. Very often that takes an outside agency that has experience with dealing with defiant teens along with therapy for both you and your teen, so that when they do return home the whole family is on the same page so your teen doesn't just revert back to the same old habits and behaviors.

Remember that while your goal as a parent is to keep your child protected and safe, your child's goal is to be with people who like him.